It is so horrible when you feel like you can't write what you want to write about in YOUR own blog. That's what happens when sh*t goes down with people who are not only your real friends or family, but also your Myspace friends. Finally, a situation has been sort of resolved and now that person no longer has access to my blogs so I can write whatever I want to. What I've been wanting to blog about for SO long. But either not being able to, or just not even knowing where to start. It's a horrible feeling.

You know what bums me out the most, when I had people stand up in my wedding, I thought these were friends forever. Or, in 2/3 of the case, these were family members. Who would have thought that family would be the first people we'd no longer speak with? And ironically, it's because we spoke our mind. Ha. After 6 years of not speaking your mind to someone and feeling like so much of what they did was morally wrong, it's a good feeling to having finally addressed your thoughts with that person and no longer having to pretend that it's ok. I've always felt it is wrong to stand by and watch someone do things that you feel are morally wrong.

*Sigh* I just don't get some people. To use your 80 year old grandmother for 5 days a week daycare, and to not even lift a finger around there to help her out. To have her buy your son meals and snacks for every day he's there, and not pitch in. Not even take out the trash once a week. Then to have her start making YOU food. To not feed your own son, to let him get to the point that he's 6 1/2 and doesn't eat anything but crackers, some fruit, waffles, sometimes some bacon. Always in front of a TV. Literally, this was a family who never sat at the table to eat together. To not have health insurance for him but to buy yourself things left and right like a new digital camera. To not even apply for the FREE healthcare from the state and then when you do, you don't even ask the doctor about his eating habits. Or, maybe the fact that the only reason you finally got that insurance after years of not having any was because you HAD to get his shots in order for him to go to school. He had his 18 month shots when he was 4 1/2 years old!! Is it just me, or is something wrong?

I hate people who blame everyone else for their lives. It doesn't fly with me. Why? Because I've made some really shitty mistakes in my life and I've had to pay for them. But you know, I PAID for them, I did everything I needed to in order to straighten up the mess of my life and it took several years, but I did it! And maybe the only person that holds a little of the blame was that person who encouraged and helped me and took part in me doing those things. But even then, ultimately it was ME. Sure I can come up with other reasons and things to blame, but those are just excuses and bad reasoning. SO, when I hear people after years and years of screwing up things taking NO responsiblity and blaming everyone else, it infuriates me! I said, maybe in a few years they'll come to their senses and see. Nope. I mean, how can you blame our economy for you losing your home when A) You had a FREE home from your family for an entire year, also including free daycare (since their son was 1year old until he started school and even now it's entirely free after school.) so that you could save up for a home and you didn't save a PENNY. And then even though you couldn't afford the house and had to get a previous employer to lie and say you were still employed when you were not, you still signed the mortgage papers. You couldn't afford it from day 1, so how is it Michigan's fault when you're kicked out two years later? (And it only took that long because they lived there an entire year without paying any rent at all while the foreclosure took that long.)

No one in the family will say anything to her, although they agree that she is way out of control and not a fit parent. They have said they are too scared of her not talking to them anymore and not being able to see their grandson. Your parents and family should be able to be real and honest with you without them feeling like you will pull shit like that! But, no, we are the only people who will call her out. And while it probably sounds judgemental and whatever else, I don't care anymore. No one knows. These things are morally wrong! What would you do if your nephew (sort of like one anyway) was being neglected like this and obviously needed medical help? Or your 80 year old grandma was being taken advantage of like this? She shouldn't be playing tag in the backyard or potty training or any of that stuff.

I wish I could say that one day she'll change. But at this point I don't think she ever will. I mean, if you haven't already and you've lost your home, what else will it take? Even funnier, is that we were pretty much their only friends- definitely their only real friends in all those years. No one else. And now she'll go back to people who treated her like shit for years and pretend they're BFF. I could write a hundred blogs on this, so many emotions. I guess what can you say when you can't ever remember someone giving you ONE compliment the entire time you knew them? I certainly remember all the rude and mean things she said or did to me or us. Funny, we let her get away with it and looked past it, or we dealt with it in a few instances. It's funny that someone who feels so entitled and free to speak their own mind will take offense when someone else does the same. Oh well, no big loss I suppose, looking at it this way.