Honestly, I don't think I have the eloquent words to convey any of these things. But I can tell you, there's nothing like being a parent. It's 100 times harder than you'd ever imagine. But, it's 100 times the love, the joy, the laughter, even the tears and frustration at times. This past year hasn't been easy, it hasn't been what I imagined, but it's also been so much more. So much love for this little boy....I literally just want to hug and kiss him all day long. Unfortunately, he's a year old now, and he's walking and he doesn't sit still long enough for much of that!

I am so proud of DJ. It's amazing to watch a child go from a newborn, to a one year old! All of those little milestones you hear about, prior to being a parent and you don't think much about, once you're a parent, every little thing...you're just so proud of them. Every little thing he's done from rolling over to sitting up to crawling and clapping his hands to waving goodbye, playing patty-cake, talking and walking...playing ball, stacking blocks, matching shapes....there's no other word but amazing. It's even better to see their excited little face when they do it.

When I think of this last year, it's hard to believe it's only been a year. Then again at other times it feels like it's been ten years. When I think of this day a year ago, I just remember how scared I was. But there were so many good things yet to come: The elation I felt when DJ finally caught on to breastfeeding! The times when he'd be awake and he'd just stare into my eyes for minutes at a time, just taking me in. I remember the days running together, since I was awake something like 20 hours a day; feedings and diaper changes around the clock. I think of those times I brought him to bed with me and I could feel his tiny body against mine. I remember how peaceful he was when he was sleeping, resting his body that could only bare to stay awake an hour or so at a time. I think of late nights and 2am feedings, I think of reading "Good Night Moon" and rocking him to sleep, or swaying him to music when he was fussy. Then he started growing up and we were able to play games with him; dancing with him, singing itsy-bitsy-spider, tossing the ball. So much, in only a year. And now we're chasing him around the house, barely keeping up with what he's getting into next.

Happy Birthday DJ. We love you, and I only hope that I can make you as proud to say I'm your mom, as I am to say you're my son.