So, the hubby went on his annual fishing trip. It's a sweet set-up, because it's a chartered fishing boat, in the next state over, hotel room, dinner the night before, they even take care of cutting up the fish you catch on the boat- all paid for buy a supplier for his company. He and 3 other guys went. I think this is his 3rd year going. As usual, they left yesterday afternoon and then they arrived home about 6 today. Normally, I have no issues with him going. And this year I didn't really either. I know he loves to fish and he doesn't get a lot of guy time, so it's perfect.

The only thing that's NOT perfect this year, is that we have a baby. And him going left me with DJ all day yesterday and today without a break. But, I wasn't too worried about it. Until he left, and then I sort of got depressed. Well, first I should say that one, taking care of an 8 month old, well, I'm still learning. Learning endurance and patience and all that jazz. So, I wasn't looking forward to not even a five minute break in either of the last 2 days. Minus when he goes to bed. And then there was still stuff to do around here. But, in addition to that, I felt bummed because I was stuck here. Stuck as in, I can't go out on an all day trip, or late night ladies night, let alone an overnight trip! I could probably count the times on one hand that I've went out minus DJ where I WASN'T called home either early or didn't come home to a MESS with DJ crying. It's upsetting, ya, having to deal with a baby who is, well, clingy to mommy. But, I take it with a grain of salt. I love him, and I know there's not a whole lot I can do, so I move on from it. However, it's hard to just feel like I never get a break. Like, I never get any real amount of time for ME to have fun. And I feel like NO ONE notices this or even cares. Least of all my hubby.

He got home today, spent 20 mins with us, and has been napping since. It's 10pm. I ordered pizza for us, ate it alone. And I stuffed myself silly too. Healthy, I know. THAT, is what pisses me off the most. That he couldn't have drank less earlier, or maybe slept in the car on the way home (he wasn't driving), so when he got home he could give me a break. Or just spend some time with us. That's why I'm annoyed, pissed, resentful, bummed etc. Instead, I finished feeding DJ dinner, played with him, had to put a Baby Einstein on so I could eat dinner, got him ready for bed, fed him again etc.

A good example of the hubby not getting it: We got called home early to get DJ from my mom's last Sunday while we were at Rosie's couples shower. You know hubby actually asked if we *really* had to go?! Ummm, YA, every single time you call me, I *really* have to go home, don't I?? It's funny how if he's not there listening to the crying, it's different. I told him now he knows how I feel all the time when this happens!!

Mothers Day was horrible. You know what I got? A basket of flowers. That's it. And no, it's not about the $$. Sure, I would have loved some jewelry, something special with DJ's birthstone or whatever. But, what I wanted MOST of all, was a day to myself. A night where Dave got up with DJ at night. A morning I got to sleep in, a morning he dressed & fed DJ. A morning I didn't have to do dishes. ETC. I didn't get any of that. Dave got up at 11. I didn't even get taken out to breakfast, which I'd mentioned previously I'd have liked. Didn't even get waffles in bed. I know I'm not over-reacting about that!! A first mothers day, 10 months of pregnancy and then 8 months of being a mommy, doing everything for my little one, not even being able to have one single night of fun for me, having some drinks etc....and I get a basket of flowers??

I don't know. I just really feel like things are very lopsided and I'm doing a lot of the work here. I know it may feel like that since I'm home all day, but I'm just asking for a little help at night. A little consideration. I've made comments before and mentioned it to him, but I feel like more than anything he gets really hurt and upset, I feel bad, and we get no where. Am I being unreasonable?? Is it too much to ask that he could have given me a break tonight? Or that I could ever do anything more than grocery shopping for an hour or two without getting a call or coming home to a mess with DJ. This part of parenthood is NOT what I expected and it's just so disappointing. It's been disappointing for 8 months now.