My whole life I always have good intentions of taking charge of things, of doing what *I* want, and not what people think I should do or what is easiest to do. But, sadly very often it's just easier to let things slide off your back and ignore them. And it's not that taking a "let things slide off your back" attitude isn't good, but it can be bad when things escalate to a certain point, or if you let that be your whole attitude for everything and suddenly you're a person who doesn't give a crap about anything.

It's nice to be a forgiving person, even if you can't forget. But it's even nicer to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. You can still forgive the other person, but you can also prevent someone from walking all over you. Maybe even prevent it from happening again. I suppose most days lately I don't care anyway what people think, but to a certain extent, shouldn't you care? I mean, we're nothing if we're not what people think of us or how they percieve us. Think about it, think about how you view your friends.

So, I am trying to once again, take better stock of my life. It seems that at least once a year this happens, and usually as a result the people who I consider friends can change. Pathetically, I have a history of letting people take advantage of me, and gosh, for several years now it seems I've been dropping my friends who are just baggage. Or people who are just a negative influence. You know what the ironic thing is? When I do this, I always run into old friends and we become close again, or I make new friends. Guess what else? These people are always positive influences in my life, and end up being real friends. REAL ones. The difference it makes is amazing.

The reason I'm sharing this? I think we should all take a look at our lives and what we do and who we surround ourselves with. It's like your parents say, aren't you who you hang around? So, I surround myself with people I admire, enjoy, love, can trust, etc. And, I think that if we can't speak our minds, if we don't have the strength to stand up for what we believe is right, or to stand up for ourselves or a fellow friend, I think that's pathetic. This one life that I have is moving much quicker than I anticipated and every day I need to make a conscious effort to not waste any more time. It's like they say, live every day as if it was your last. Would you want to spend your last day with words unsaid, with people who are negative or not being able to enjoy your life because you let the petty bullshit get in the way? I don't.........